Why do we press harder on a  remote control when we know the batteries are flat?

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient  funds" when they know there is not enough?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check  when you say the paint is wet?

Why doesn't glue stick  to the bottle?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death  by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a  beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but  ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do  Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an "S"  in the word "lisp"?

What is the speed of  darkness?

Are there specially reserved parking spaces for  "normal" people at the Special Olympics?

If you send  someone 'Styrofoam', how do you pack it?

If the temperature  is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will  it be?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still  apes?

If it's true that we are here to help others, what are  the others doing here?

Do married people live longer  than single ones or does it only seem longer?

Any car can  last a lifetime, just drive irresponsibly enough!

If someone  with a split personality threatens to commit suicide, is it a hostage situation?